Sitting Three

They Treat All Women Like Princesses

You know the story.  The princess goes into the woods, finds a frog, kisses him, and he turns into a prince.  Actually, most women will candidly inform you that the process is usually reversed:  convincing themselves they have found a prince, they go into the woods, kiss him and end up stuck with a frog. 

But, the story (which has to be true, because we tell it to children, and we certainly wouldn’t want to mislead our young) tells us something very important. 

Frogs must treat all women like princesses. Because after all, you’re a frog!  How many women are going to kiss you in the first place?  At this point are you going to ask for I.D.?  Are you going to demand a lineage record to prove her royal highness?  Or do you just work under the premise that if she’s willing to kiss you, the least you can do is treat her regally?  In the mind of a frog (which, honestly, cannot be that expansive—after all we are dealing with a very small cranial area) in the mind of a frog, you work your gig, which has nothing to do with gigging for frogs, which is an entirely different process. 

But, as I said, you work your gig!  You’re a frog.  When a woman comes near “bayou” and wants to do a little necking of her own, you go with it.  You work it like it’s the plan. 

You see, frogs don’t make the mistake of sitting around and checking on their WEBsite (ha-ha) for the perfect soul mate.  Their criteria are simple. 

A.      Did she find the woods?

B.  Is she willing to come to my pad? 

C.    Can she pucker? 

D.    Is she willing to kiss a frog? 

E.     Yes, well let’s get it on. 

F.      She be a princess!

There you have it.

          Now, I know there are women out there that would find frogs to be, perhaps, a bit chauvinistic, insisting it’s not necessary that women be viewed as princesses, just equals.  For you ladies, I would suggest that you avoid frogs.  I do offer this warning though: frogs, although certainly not at the top of the looks chain, are stable, having both feet on the ground (if you count water) and are willing to accept you as a lady—just as you are.  There are other more handsome species available, but always be aware that many of them are reptilian and certainly most, carnivores.

          ATTENTION FEMALES:  If you don’t want to be treated like a princess, if you don’t want the sensation that your kiss is a transforming force, and if you do not want to be part of the miracle of creating a new person filled with confidence through your caress, please (and I must insist) stay away from the frog. 

          Because frogs treat all women like princesses.  Every frog’s philosophy is “you never know.”  Isn’t that so true?  You just never know.  Perhaps each of us should be like the frog—grateful for anyone who would be willing to plant one on our thin, pale, wet lips.  But we have much to learn from our green brother. 

And let us never forget, frogs are always willing to become princely at just the right moment—as needed—to aid a damsel in distress.